Women, tuned into the Wisdom of the Sacred Feminine, have over millenia, come to know the full moon as a time for wildness in all directions… from howling at the moon, to getting angry and triggered, or becoming wakeful, sleepless, or staying up late, to ovulating or releasing our monthly menses, to going into labor and giving birth, the full moon is our Grand Mother in the Sky influencing the ebb and flow of everything from our emotional strength and resilience to the ferocity of our inner power. Whether She’s waxing or waning Her influence upon us is profound.
Today is Wednesday…. the moon is waxing to full by this Friday/Saturday…. and this time I watch the moon in a way I’ve never watched it before. Because this time I’m waiting to have a baby I had come to accept was never coming. So I’m tuning in and trying to decipher the undecipherable in a heightened anticipation surrendered in a knowing that I cannot know.
Here I’m just buried in the mystery and at the mercy of not knowing.
The Wisdom of the Sacred Feminine knows that a babies ‘due date’ of arrival would be much better described as a ‘due month’ or ‘due season’. So let’s not ask if this baby is over-due or late or here yet. Between two countries and four different people (one doctor, two sonographers and a midwife) I have four different due dates… one of which has passed, one is coming up and the next two are scattered another week apart from each other – making July my ‘due month’. Again… just a big beautiful mystery like no other.
So there is no discerning if he is early or late… and we cannot know when this kid is coming. All we can know is that he’s on his own path, and has always been on his own path… and will be here when he is good and ready. And so for me, it turns out that the anticipation of birth is an anticipation like no other I’ve ever experienced… it’s just so beautifully mysterious.
In fact… this is exactly what meditation prepares us for – deep listening, and deep surrender into the art of not knowing – while simultaneously it is mixed with wonder and awe as well as curiosity and hope…. finding words to describe this kind of anticipation is not coming easily…. for it’s a kind of anticipation that I’ve not yet had before… I guess it must be something only first time mothers have. Or perhaps each birth is different? The Wisdom of the Sacred Feminine stirs Her Intelligence from deep within me knowing that all I can know is that as the moon waxes so too does the stirrings of an imminent birthing process within me… one that may come with the full moon… or the energy of that which draws us inward in it’s waning energy…. and perhaps this child is destined for his arrival through the Stargate of my uterus once the New Moon arrives in another couple of weeks….. and as I think about it, I’m certainly drawn inward during a waning moon and am deeply reflective over a New Moon….
So again… I surrender into the magical mystery of not knowing.
So many possibilities wax and wane and mix together as the birth of not only my son, but my inner mother also, percolate together awaiting their perfect unison. This not up to me, nor is it up to anyone else to discern…. only my inner mother, child and the wisdom of birthing itself know when this birthing moment will occur….
And so I lean into the Wisdom of the Sacred Feminine…. and I Trust HER.
For my human it’s brand new territory for this particular life time, and yet at the same time the stirrings of familiarity are awakening within me.
I’ve been here before, as have we all.
But what makes this a much more smoother trail to trek is, first of all, a meditation practice, and second of all, knowing how my personal inner cycle responds to the Luna Cycle in the sky. Knowing I am not alone in this way and that I am supported, in ways both seen and unseen from the physical realm, has been a soothing and satiating, surrender into a realm of inner security, in a world of deep uncertainty. Deep within the inner wellspring of innate resources is the kind of security I’d not known before I immersed myself in the realm of Sacred Feminine Wisdom where our ancient knowledge is restored and our greatest wisdom is again revealed. Buddhists call it ‘un-learning’, and so too does Sacred Feminine Wisdom acknowledge that, as the beliefs, ideas and constructs we’ve taken on throughout life drop away, the inner wisdom laying beyond conscious awareness reveals itself from within the psyche of the soul that intimately knows the what and when and how of each step of the way… should we only listen deep enough and intimately enough.
We must be still and quiet to hear Her Wisdom….
I was once someone of a highly anxious disposition, the noise in my head meant I couldn’t hear Her…. but now I can know myself differently, more intimately, more sensually, more lovingly, more unconditionally. Now, as I steady, quieten and still myself, I manage whatever turns life may take me with a greater degree of calmness, and inner security…. and yes here and there, and particularly with certain emotional circumstances, still I stumble. But now, when I stumble, I have a direct pipeline into the Wisdom of the Sacred Feminine laying within the psyche of my soul, beyond the physical realm, that re centers me.
But I must remember to take time to myself, to re-member the True North of my Personal Truth, and to let the edges of influences that do not serve me or my inner constitution in optimal ways to just slip away again…. and then here, in the silence of an inner sanctity, is the Truth of my own Path. THIS kind of Clarity cannot be reckoned with by anyone else… for it is your PERSONAL TRUTH. It may not be True for a well-meaning other, but if you know it to be true for you, then that’s the crux of the matter, whatever the matter. The Wisdom of the Sacred Feminine, when She tugs at your heart strings and the stirrings of your Soul, is truly undeniable. Albeit often completely irrational and therefore tricky to debate with another not plugged into this ancient, yet also post-modern, Source of Infinite Wisdom.
You too can learn to use, or deepen your wisdom and knowledge of, Grand Mother in the Sky using Her Luna Cycle and the Wisdom of the Sacred Feminine to restore this lost ancient knowledge and to reconnect to your greatest and most powerful inner wisdom. In so doing you will find your inner True North, your most powerful and accurate, intuitive self, and your truest sense of confidence and inner security to know what is best and right for you.
Yes, you too can merge your 21st century woman and her world of uncertainty with the Divine Nature of your eternal self – SHE who know’s who you are and why you are here at this time… and SHE who holds her center safe and steady and secure…. even when all seems not so safe, steady or secure… no matter what is happening in the world around or within you. For SHE always has your back… always… because SHE holds you from within like nothing you know elsewhere. And then, when anticipation is unique and high, and everything around you is wobbly and weird, something within you remains strong and steady, confident and secure, because you are so relaxed and at ease anchored in the center of your very own True North. You just know what is good and right for you.
Knowing what is good and right for you is is a Truth worth re-membering. It’s a Truth worth putting back together within your Self NOW.
You can study this for yourself in my six module Sacred Feminine Wisdom Online offering where each module is chunked into four downloadable MP3 audio files – each including an Opening Connection Visualization, the relevant Archetypal Energy and Luna Phase for that Module, the relevant Deity for that module and a meditation and mantra. Also included are five Expert Interviews with guest scholars such as my teachers Sally Kempton and Barbara Marx Hubbard, as well as other teachers and Soul Sisters Ashleigh Sergeant, Jeannie Manchester and Sarsha Hood – each juicy and deep, personal and raw in their own uniquely beautiful ways.
A good time to start this is on the last quarter ready for the New Moon for Module two…. module one being the introduction and module two being where you dive into the Maiden Virgin – She who is sovereign only to herself, and Saraswati – SHE Who Flows with Creativity, Wisdom, Intelligence and Inspiration <3
This is a path to bring you back to your center and to your Inner Truth…. and to the place where miracles can finally unfold within you… For me… this is the work I believe that opened me to finally conceiving the baby I’d long given up on. What might it open you to finally letting in?
Om Jai Ma!