At 39 my experience of life now, more often than not, holds a deep seated sense of inner connection, joy and love and an overriding sense of faith in an unseen, guiding force that always delivers the perfect outcome in all things. And within this there is a very deep sense of surprise and intrigue; a curiosity, if you like, as to its magic and the consequences it churns out…. because life wasn’t always like this! Oh no Sir’ee was it?!
The events in my life that have come in the form of heartache and heartbreak, death and dying, separation and change, divorce, disappointment and let-downs, as well as ill health and disease, have all been the fuel to a very constant and persistent series of awakenings. Through each event in my life a pocket of growth has occurred, sometimes a pinprick of a pocket and other times an earth shattering explosion kind of pocket of change. But it’s from the pinpricks to the explosions that a slow, and sure, journey of awakening occurs.
I always knew there had to be a greater degree of ok-ness than what I used to feel and that there must be an easier way that didn’t involve the discomfort that I seemed to survive in. And there was. It took persistence and focus, insight into my relative and absolute nature, some inspired action, along with both the choice AND a willingness to change, evolve and grow before I could wake up from my not-so-blissfully ignorant slumber.
Bit by bit, I began to realize how my thought patterns and emotional immaturity were keeping me stuck in a rut of discomfort and suffering. On the outside I functioned perfectly well, but on the inside, I was dying. And I didn’t realize the depth of this while-still-alive death until my entire body broke out in eczema. I was covered in a red, itchy, ugly, angry mess of a rash from my chest down to my wrists and ankles. It was NARLEY! To say the least. It took a year or two to cover my entire body, but it wasn’t until it started creeping up my neck, towards my face and out onto my hands, for the world to see, that I really started to pay attention.
Suddenly the discomfort was enough, and this was as uncomfortable as I could possibly tolerate. Finally I was motivated to really clean up my eating patterns, gain insight into my thought processes and emotional maturity, assess my beliefs and world views and basically overhaul the old and replace with NEW.
But this is the nature of the human condition. We wait until things can’t get any worse before we finally do something to create change. It’s as if we have to go to the marrow and we can’t for whatever reason catch it before it gets to that desperate level of pain and suffering. And for me the wise teacher of eczema led me down a path of awakening and finally alerted me to the deeper nature of Self. A Self that was plugged in, tuned in and turned on. A Self that was intuitive and free. A Self that was deeply joyful and profoundly dialed in – and it ALWAYS was, all along, the whole time! I just had to peel off some layers in order to access the energy and information of this deeper Self… this Soul Self.
For me it was quite literal. While internally I began to feel more joyful and OK, externally I was growing a whole new soft and beautiful skin. I could finally appreciate my body and love it for all its wisdom because I was at last letting that which was always there, the Soul Self, shine through it.
Now I enjoy teaching, among other things, the SoulPlan workshop with my gorgeous co-creator and SoulPlan guide Meegan Care as well as The Right Road workshop – both these workshops guide us to the wisdom our Soul so that we may bring the energy and information of this deepest part of ourselves into the physical realm thereby giving consciousness it’s arms and legs! All my work has come from the realization that trauma is initiatory to growth and development. So hail the Teacher of Pain, for we cannot avoid it AND it ultimately gives us a deeper and more vast quality of life experience.
Whats been your teacher?
Feel free to make comments below and publicly bow to your teachers….