Ever feel like the life you came here to live is on the other side of a veil that you just can’t seem to get on the other side of? I used to believe in my mind and heart that I was living this life on the other side of the veil… but yet when I stopped and looked at the life my physical body was wading through each day, it wasn’t even close. The manifesting process starts with an idea – these ideas are on the other side of this interdimensional veil, where a string of single thoughts become a chunk of big solid beliefs. These beliefs become the words you speak that state your intentions. Energy goes wherever intention flows – either knowingly or unknowingly. So where you put your energy gives fuel to your actions which in turn affects your experience of reality as they become things appearing, and events occurring, in your daily life.
Bit by bit, the veil is lifted….
… and all physical experiences that you have and all concrete objects that you see and use around you in daily life have filtered in from the realm of ideas that began on the other side of this veil. Yes… manifesting, dissolving the veil between the realm of the imagination and the realm of your physical reality, starts with just an idea.
Some ideas you put very little effort into and they seem to just happen, like thinking the next wallet you want to own will be green and then the next day you comes across a green wallet in a thrift store when you weren’t even looking, it’s only $2 and somehow it swells your heart more than any brand new one ever would – and within 24 hours that small nudging urge of an idea has manifested itself in physical form right there in the handbag of your daily life. Other ideas, like mine to get pregnant fifteen years ago, take a whole lot more effort and diligence, sweat, tears and heartache, practice, patience and therapy than you would have ever have imagined.
But regardless of whether a desire or a longing takes a day, a week, a month or a decade or more, the process of bringing your desires and longings from the other side of this veil and into the physical realm of your daily life through the exact same process.
The Process of Manifestation:
First – it’s just an idea that formed in your subtle body mind… some would refer to this as 7th or 6th Chakra level of manifesting. Or in other words, it first existed in the imaginal realm of Consciousness. And all too often this is where the manifesting process gets duped way too early because we don’t understand that it actually exists already – even if we can’t see, touch, smell, taste or hear it with our physical senses yet. We forget about our 6th Sense and the ‘knowing’ that it already exists in the imaginal realm, but that it lays here awaiting the actions it will take to draw this form of longing from the realm of our Sixth Sense into the field of our other five senses. Or as I like to say – from 5D into 3D; the imaginal realm to the physical realm… the realm of ideas into the realm of daily life.
So first, it’s just an idea. If we dismiss it as daydreaming or something that is too far fetched or not possible for any reason, then it may never turn into it’s full, physical form potential. For that takes aligned thought, beliefs and action… and then finally, a simple act of Grace.
For example, with regard to my getting pregnant… for some women getting pregnant is like the green wallet example above, it’s just a vague thought one day but the next day, boom, a positive pee stick and life, as they’ve known it, spins on a dime no time later. But for me, it was a long, lengthy and arduous process that spanned at least 10 years, but really all of my adult life.
There are so many reasons as to why this path of manifesting pregnancy has been so tricky for me… and perhaps you can relate to some of these in your own life and circumstances:
Conflicting Beliefs from this Life Time and Others:
I’ve explored countless past lives, that whether true or not subconscious mind clung to. So these were stories I was holding beneath my conscious awareness and they contained the ideas, energy and vibration of what it’s like to have children painfully taken from me where they were killed in childbirth or war and battle, or lost due to plague or fire – each one leaving a marked scar on my soul saying that raising children is a painful and futile experience. In this respect I came to hold the belief that this life time might be best spent taking a rest from that kind of pain. Holding a deep subconscious belief that raising children is a painful and futile experience is not the kind of belief that positively aligns with a conscious intention to have a baby. A negative plus a positive equals a negative, so to speak. So because the subconscious mind will always drive you away from danger and pain and toward comfort and pleasure resolving conflicting beliefs is a huge part of the manifesting process. It’s a little like cleaning out the garage so you can fit the car in there. Getting help at this level is imperative if you feel blocked in calling in that intention you so desperately feel blocked to which is why I offer Spiritual Hypnosis.
Conditioning and Programming:
Another reason was that throughout my teens I was raised, like so many young girls, to believe that getting pregnant while still in school would literally ruin my life. And not only my life, but my parents lives as well. And because I got sexually active relatively young, it was a very real threat to the sanctity of my own life, as well as my family’s. So the belief that getting pregnant would ruin my life, and everybody elses life around me, was also not an aligned way of thinking. It’s just another conflict at a deep level creating a glass ceiling to that which is really seeking to emerge – and it requires going into and through. And I’m glad I did for as it turned out, because our inner parts often remain very young in their perspective, this young inner child me was holding my adult self hostage to the idea that getting pregnant at ANY stage of life would ruin it. As with much of this work just bringing Awareness was that which could break through the inner glass ceiling. You can unravel the threads within yourself here too.
Beliefs Manifest in the Body:
Consequently I developed Endometriosis – which I believe was just as much past life karma as this life. But Endometriosis is the perfect antidote to the risk of pregnancy for it will crawl all over your uterus and throughout your tubes making it an incredibly hostile environment for any sperm and egg to ever encounter each other in successful conception. As stated in the opening paragraph, thoughts become beliefs which become things… in this case, dis-ease in the body was reflecting the disequilibrium of my mind (conditioning and beliefs) in my body. My inner reality was filled with deep conflict that required either resolution or coming to peace with. And I feel in retrospect that this pregnancy was due to in some part resolution and some part inner peace. I work with a lot of clients around this same manifestation using Hypnotherapy too. (Please note that each and every method I use in my practice is exploratory, interactive, hypnotherapy where I talk to your parts and we uncover the wisdom of your deeper inner self… in this way it is not me from whom you are getting the wisdom, but yourself. All I do is guide you there and then hold a loving space in which you can hear the deeper wisdom of your still and quiet, inner voice).
The Deepest Desire and Intention Always Wins – Always:
As deeply set as my beliefs were against getting pregnant, my deepest desire and intention to conceive in this life time was apparently to have a baby. The former belief – that having a baby is a painful experience, was based on FEAR – which is False Evidence Appearing Real. So in uncovering that those beliefs were based on story that no longer applied, and perhaps never did ever apply to me, my subconscious mind was able to unwind in a way that allowed that glass ceiling or brick wall to dissolve and fade away back into the past where it would no longer effect my current and present Now. Then the deepest desire, which was the plan all along, could then start it’s progress from the Imaginal Realm into the physical world of 3D in which I currently live; because – that was the deepest desire and it would drive my daily inquiry until all was clear for it to finally emerge. In this way, our obstacles are that which form our life path and therefore provide us with the ingredients for the most growth.
I had a vision that I had been born with for this life time and that was to overcome all obstacles it would take to raise at least one baby while incarnated in this particular body. And so I worked with the fears that plagued me from the shadows of my subconscious mind. And I moved forward into a realm I never thought I would go – and oh my did I learn and grow through all of this.
In New Zealand, my home land and where I was then living, because of my age and so called ‘infertility’, I was eligible for two rounds of funded IVF – In Vitro Fertilization. This is a process where an egg, maybe one of your own, or from a selected donor, is fertilized in a test tube with sperm that came from maybe your partner or perhaps a donor. This process makes pretty much anything possible. Including female lovers and menopausal women now being able to have babies using donor eggs so long as their uterus is still in tact. They don’t need ovaries or tubes which makes it possible for ovarian cancer survivors to also still procreate… So many dreams and longings can still be called in from the imaginal realm because of this technology…
For some this is an uber controversial topic – for it goes in the face of God… for others it is a gift from God, a chance at calling in that deepest longing, even in spite of the blocks, barriers and challenges encountered in the unfurling of life events. And the latter is how I saw it. After all, God creates ALL things, not just things we judge as good…
So I went for it.
But very quickly I got thrown out of the game for no eggs were found and it was believed that the only way this body of mine would be able to carry on would be to use donor eggs… eggs from another woman. Someone I knew or didn’t know… and that is another part of this story that I will tell at another time. But for now, lets just say I went down that path, and it didn’t create a baby, but instead a cyst was born…. a sinister looking cyst that began to look like it may be cancerous. So I was put on what I called “cancer-watch” every other Monday for several months. And what was interesting about that was that on Mondays when my weekend had been emotionally challenging, my levels were high – still not cancerous high, more severely endometriotically high, but they were high. And on Mondays’ when my weekends and the previous couple of weeks had been casual, calm and peaceful they were low…. Yes a picture was beginning to dawn on me.
Time to Let Go:
Surrendering to what was and letting go of what was not, as a peaceful inner self with resolved conflicts was a more balanced, fertile and creative ‘me’ than a ‘me’ filled with suffering, disequilibrium and grief. At this time I still had a lot of letting go to do, a lot of surrendering and accepting and a a huge amount of inner conflict resolution processing yet to do. And to do this I had to get to the crux of my deepest inner desires. What did I REALLY want for this life time? And not my little ‘I’ but the Big I that was driving this train of ME along the path of this life time.
The Final Surrender into What IS:
So the final part in transforming a diagnosis of ‘Infertility’ into one of “Pregnancy” was to find my own inner balance and deepest inner drive… and for that, I heeded the call to return to the States where I eventually threw myself into my work and created powerful offerings like Sacred Feminine Wisdom Online and the 40 Day’s of Inner Power Packages. And somewhere throughout that process I reached a 98% point of letting go and surrendering into the idea that maybe a child wasn’t the path for me in this life time, that maybe the thing I’d come to believe was my path, actually wasn’t… and, maybe I just needed to trust that if it was my path, and that if beliefs truly do become things, then it would happen without any more effort on my behalf. I had certainly done all I could to let the Universe and all concerned know that it was what I wanted. And in the meantime, I was finding such joy in the creations that were flowing through me that didn’t involve raising a child that it finally didn’t even matter.
And so it was Grace that surrendered the final 2% that let me go with the flow of what was happening in my life, instead of the continual pining for that which was not happening. The Child Free life became a wonderful new game of freedom in which I could explore and play in a way I had not approached adult life so far ever before. My body became my body. My life became my life. And the present moment became my imperturbable now. Flow and balance ensued. Finally.
Yes…. This not-so-little Being has indeed been my greatest teacher and life path instigator to date. And I truly can’t wait to finally meet him here in the physical realm.
The Path of Manifesting;
The interesting thing to me tho is this: the path of manifesting IS itself the path of your life – the way in which you are moving forward IS the WAY so to speak. That which you are called here to manifest is your life calling. You are a creative being, no matter what birth canal that creation may choose as it’s Stargate into the world of 3D where you currently hold most of your consciousness. We all have a Creative Drive and a Creative Intention for being here. For some it is not to have children, but instead it is to show up in other ways – as artists or entrepreneurs, performers or innovators; Co-Creation over Pro-Creation… but it’s all Creation. And you find that that which aligns with your deepest, most honest, open and truest intentions, aligns you with the Creative Power that is seeking to emerge in, through and as you in this life time. And then Voila, life happens and paradigms shift in miraculous way. The impossible becomes possible.
A GIFT: Meditation MP3 download for you to practice with:
One of my key tools is meditation… it helps all that which does not serve my deepest intentions to drop away, everything from stories I hold to beliefs and ideas about myself, other people and the world that I carry around. It’s a daily reminder of who I really am when all that drops away, for without all that I am lighter, clearer, calmer and more surrendered to exactly what is. In a nutshell, meditation helps me get out of my own way so that that which is seeking to emerge in and through me in my life actually can. In my case, a baby was trying to happen… but I needed to land in a different place within myself before that wee soul could align with me in that way. So my gift to you here is this meditation which you can just click here to download and save to your phone or computer. It will drop you into the realm of your mind, then your heart, then your sacral center, where you will feel into your very own creativity. Here you will feel into the longings and intentions of your creative self… here you find a pathway into showing up as your authentic self.
40 Days of Inner Power:
Another tool I used a lot of was therapy… that, combined with my Goddess Practice and work with Sally Kempton, was a life savior for me. It helped me process the conflicted beliefs and ideas which aided the unwinding that was happening through the meditation. It also helped, and continues to help, me better know myself and my parts. Self Awareness is a beautiful thing… it develops self compassion and helps us to be softer and more gentle with our self, as well as less triggered or projecting around and toward others. So I created 40 Days of Inner Power programs which combine Goddess Practice (with meditation, mantra, journaling etc) and Parts Therapy in a 40 Day Package where you are held and supported while you transition through whatever layer is seeking to emerge in your life at this time. Along with the Sacred Feminine Wisdom Online work (which is for women), this work (which is for both men and women) was, and continues to be, that which holds and loves up on me when things get hard. Because life does get hard… and we need our tools… these are mine. And they work. So if you would like to embark upon a 40 Day of Inner Power Package, take a look here and see which one resonates with you.
Sacred Feminine Wisdom Online:
This is for women… and I believe it was the final act of Grace that allowed me to release that last 2% of clinging. Sacred Feminine Wisdom Online is a course designed to help women reclaim their greatest power and most ancient knowledge. It will plug you back into the cyclical nature of the planetary Luna Cycle as well as to that power house of wisdom within your menstrual cycle and give you the tools to surrender to the all might powers of the Goddess who flows within and around you in all that you do. Check it out here… you can now do it in your own time and pace from anywhere in the world.
These tools I have shared with you are the tools I have used to make it through my own dark night of the soul. They have shown me that it is in the dark that the greatest of light will eventually shine. They have shown me that the path of manifesting is made successful and abundant by going through the dark, planting the seeds to your deepest longings while pulling the weeds that tangle and clutter your path, and then moving through anything and everything that lays between you and that longing. It is by going through the dark of longing that the crud and shit of life built up can drop away to reveal the open, true and honest heart with which you were born. From here, anything is truly possible, even the impossible.