(There is a free meditation and interview at the end of this post)
When Kali’s fire rips through your life, it leaves no leaf un-charred. Her fire is one that can fuel the most radical of changes, the most deadly of illnesses and, as well, the most liberating and Truth rendering of outcomes. Her fire is one that will invite, no actually force, you to see what is on the other side of your resistance to living the life you came here too. So when the archetypal energy of the Great Mother Kali enters your life it is not by accident, bad luck or misfortune. It is a Divinely orchestrated sequence of well timed events that will often only make sense once it is all in your rear view mirror and the opportunity to look back and reflect finally opens up for you.
At least that’s how it was for me.
When the Kalisque experience started coming my way I was curious, but also deeply resistant. I loved the idea of sharing Her name, but, at the time, I had no idea what it really called for, or meant. Both truth and challenge I was told, yet mostly challenge was the experience. The Truth didn’t emerge for me till much later. Because once Her teachings started I didn’t want to go down the path She was lining me up for. I couldn’t imagine there was anymore important plan than the one I already had in mind. So the idea that there was something She considered more important for me simply didn’t fit. No thank you Ma’am! I had my own plan. I was going to have a baby and live off an internet business that was going to fund my project of being a Mama bear to the little bubba I was trying to create in a petri dish, because I couldn’t create it inside my own body. In hindsight, I can see how out of alignment that plan was for me. While for some women it’s a beautiful path and one of the amazing boons of technology, for me not one single part of that plan was lining up. It simply wasn’t my calling and there was a Shedding of the Fairytale that I had to work through instead which you can read about here (this post also includes a link to the same talk you’ll find below where I was interviewed by Jeanie Manchester about the Transformative Goddess, Kali).
I continued to avoid Her coaxing, which was relatively gentle at first until finally She slammed me with sinister looking growths on my ovaries and put me on cancer watch with dwindling financial resources, a difficult and complex relationship and loss of vital energy. I couldn’t do anything I wanted to do anymore and, in an existential crisis, I started to question everything. It was like She was just shutting my life down!
She was going to wake me up in any way She saw fit…
There would be no limit to Her capacity
to strip me of the layers
that were deluding me from
the SacredTruth I’d come here to live.
And this is what is interesting about the Goddess…. when you ask for Her assistance She will give it. So be careful what you asked for. I’d asked for Liberation. And so Her fierce love showed up in the ferocity and frustration of my boyfriend at the time. She also showed up as illness in my body. She would swell my glands and drain my energy. And then, during my PMS – which I now fondly refer to as the Passionate Mother Surfacing – She’d vent Her anger at me projected through wild shadowy rages at others. She would also show up in clients, and in the absence of clients too. And Ma Kali, She can show up in numerous other ways also, like in hurricanes and tornadoes, wild fires and earthquakes, the void of the dark nights sky and the fierce angry look of a stranger for no apparent reason. For me it took a wild and convoluted chain of signs from the Universe before I could finally see that what I was trying to do with my life at that particular point was not what I was here to be doing. It kind of was. I was close. But many of the ingredients weren’t right and it had turned into a phase that had passed, and, in spite of a deep inner knowing that it had been time to move on for some time, I was fearfully sticking with it beyond it’s use-by date. It was time to move on and Kali was swiping Her sword to set me free. This was not the kind of Liberation I had anticipated?!
To the ego, Kali is a total menace.
She really is. She will cut the knots that tie you to your delusions and crash your personality into the ground like a house of cards leaving you wondering who you are and what happened to life as you know it. But She takes no prisoners and She leaves nothing but Grace in Her wake. There is no point in keeping anyone or thing locked up when the Feminine Face of Spirit is showing up as Kali. She is about ultimate Freedom and pure Truth. Yes, to the ego, Kali is truly frightening.
But once you get to know Her,
once you get to truly regard Her as the Fierce Mother
who knows better for you than any other being ever can or will….
Once you realize, deep within your bones,
that She is only ever acting from Pure Divine Love,
with the intention of setting you Free….
Once you really get this…
She is no longer fearsome looking.
She is no longer wrathful.
She is no longer against you.
Not even in the slightest.
She has indeed instead got your back; always has and always will.
She is someone you WANT in your corner and on your side.
She is your deepest Lover and Protector
and the ultimate crap detector.
She takes no shit from that ego of yours.
Instead She will slowly strip you of your
and false pretenses
and in it’s place
She’ll install humility and open hearted,
Yes, when Kali’s fire comes ripping through your life, it leaves no leaf un-charred. But from the debris emerges your True and Sacred Self…. the YOU you came here to be. But She will likely take you down, kicking and screaming into the transformative fires of the UnderWorld first. Often referred to as a Dark Night of the Soul, this is the phase of transformation that will burn away the layers of your personality that are no longer serving the SacredPurpose you came here to serve. When you find yourself in the UnderWorld you find yourself in the position of being demanded to grow. Demanded to evolve. The only way out is through the core of your Soul and up into the physical world again. This is the phase that will give you the courage to reveal who you truly are – to yourself as much as to the rest of the world – and why you’re really here.
For women we cycle through this phase of the UnderWorld every month…
It’s not always so dramatic sounding, sometimes it’s just a day or two of checking in and reassessing. Other times it will feel like we don’t re emerge and we spend a whole cycle or more in a phase of reassessment and letting go. It can be down right uncomfortable. And, when we let ourselves fully process and deeply let go, it can also be utterly liberating. Because that’s what She really wants for us. Truth and Freedom. Our very own Inner Revolution. Indeed She is the Goddess of Transformation in it’s purest, most literal sense. And this is why I have created the 40 Day Inner Revolution and the Six Month Metamorphosis. These are loving and nurturing containers designed to hold and support you while you pass through the Pandoras Box of your life and sift through the ways of being, thinking and feeling that no longer serve you. This is how a Dark Night of the Soul aims to serve you – by freeing you of the old, so that you may make way for the new, higher vibrational, energy that wants to flow in, through and as you in the world today.
Now when Kali cycles back through my life I find it kind of exciting…. and instead of shrugging away in fear, I playfully wonder what new delights is She clearing me out for. I know She’s got my back… and that She’s got yours too…and that together we can liberate and revolutionize the way we individually, and Collectively, walk this spiritual experience of Human Life – because that’s what we came here to do; Harness our Inner Power and Experience Divinity Embodied.
To help you begin this delayering process, I include a meditation on the Transformative Power of Kali’s Fire which you can download by right clicking as saving as here or just click play below:
To hear more about my relationship with the Goddess Kali and how surrendering to Her led me through my personal dark night of the Soul, click here and listen to an interview yogini, Jeanie Manchester, did with me in the later part of 2015. Or press play below:
A Jeanie Manchester interview for her Shakti Rise Immersion Course with Kali Cathie:
And when you’re ready to embark upon your own 40 Day Inner Revolution and/or the Six Month Metamorphosis contact me and let me know by filling out the contact form on this page. And in the meantime remember, SHE always has your back.